If you're a yes-person because you believe saying no is selfish or wrong, it's time to let go of that belief. It only makes you protective of your time and energy, which is something we all deserve to be. Saying no doesn't make you any of those things. They might fear that turning down work projects or declining event invitations makes them seem selfish or downright mean. People pleasers, perfectionists and yes people tend to feel like saying no makes them a bad person.

Getty Images Saying no doesn't make you a bad person You have the power to fill in your to-do list with events, activities and projects that make you happy - and to leave out the ones that don't. What if we helped you arrange a stay at a hotel just a few minutes from the house?' Say, 'I'd love to see you, but hosting family for that long is hard on my schedule. Backtrack to the example of family staying over for 10 days. Offer an explanation and alternatives if necessary.For instance, if someone offers you a work project: 'Thanks for thinking of me for this project, but I don't have the bandwidth to take it on right now.' Don't say you'll think about it when you know on the spot that you don't want to do it.You don't need to apologize for having made prior plans. Avoid apologies when they aren't warranted.Just say, 'No, I can't' or 'No, I don't want to.' This is often the best approach, even if it feels difficult. But wouldn't it be so much easier to just say no on the spot? Of course it would, so here are some tips for doing just that. It's an unfortunate tendency of people pleasers. No shame here - nearly everyone I know, myself included, has done this in some form or another. But this is about exercising your right to say no often enough that these occasional happenings don't totally derail you.

Realistically, you can't always say no to a work project that doesn't enthrall you, and sometimes you'll have to endure events you're not particularly keen on attending.

Your best friend asks for a favor but it would cut into the only time you carved out this week to hang with your kids.

Your in-laws want to stay with you for 10 days over the holidays and you want to be nice, but the thought of cooking for, cleaning up after and entertaining anyone for 10 days ties your stomach in knots.

Your friends schedule a last-minute event that sounds fun, but tonight is your only night of the week to stay in.

Someone needs a shift picked up and while you could use the extra money, you've only averaged five hours of sleep each night for the last week.

Here are some examples of when you might want to say yes, but should say no: Stripping your schedule of events (and even work projects, if possible) can help you reserve more energy for the important things. Most people today are severely overworked and overbooked, and can profoundly benefit from saying no to things that don't make them squeal with glee. It's really quite simple: Say yes to things that make you feel good and say no to things that don't.

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